Monday, 14th August 2008.

I miss her greatly. The days of laughter and nonsensical giggling are over… Long gone… The others have been trying to get me to talk to her again… But it’s been so long. I don’t think we can touch base on anything anymore… And plus, there’s no guarantee she’ll talk anyway. I’ve already said that I’m not gonna be apologetic anymore. There was fault on her side too. She failed as a friend to stand up for someone. Especially in the face of betrayal. I can’t forget that ever. The look of uneasiness on her face as she broke the news to me. I can never forget that day. So much conspiracy, so much scheming. I can’t forgive or forget her lapse of judgment.

Ah, then what about mine? My lapse of judgement. It is not entirely her fault for the events that followed either. I was to blame too for the freak accident that happened. So what could possibly happen to repair that which was lost anymore? Loss of trust by both could not possibly help either side on repairing anything ever again…

I should call her… Should I call her?? I’ll think about it. A message is too impersonal right? Ok, I’ll call her when the time comes.

~The death of a friendship is a pit which knows no end in the abyss of deaths.~

Ok, I’ll admit that for this particular post, I’m feeling a bit peeved when writing.

There is always an element of respect in every form of relationship; even with strangers.
And there will always be a line one should never cross… Matters under the sky must always be considered with all potential consequences in mind. When one fails to think thoroughly, one makes mistakes.

One of the greatest weaknesses to have today is to be giving. Not in the sense of worldly possessions, but in that of caring. We live in a world that is dominated with selfishness and advantages… Advantage over those around you, over loved ones and even over complete strangers. When you reach a point of patience becoming a thin layer of ice, it is a break-point. A break-point that can easily come around as an upsurge. What happens then? When one crosses the limit in respect, things begin to break down. There may be course for repair while in other cases; they may even dissolve to a point of nothingness. It really all depends, on circumstance.

I’ve made some decisions recently without even realizing it. Hence, it’s about time it all gets acted upon and fulfilled. So here I go on my adventure… And I will no longer apologize to anyone for it.

~`~`~Cheers!~`~`~

Friday, the 1st of August 2008.

The last thing anyone could possibly need would be to disrupt the harmony of a friendship with a fast mouth… I should know.

Sometimes, there comes a situation where a person speaks inadvertently on something that is funny or intimate and the conversation is accidentally held amongst extra presences, what should one best do? I better learn on this one fast enough before I make that blunder again.

Such is how friendships can possibly die I guess…

Ok, here goes…

I am sorry I cut off the conversation so abruptly; causing you hurt and embarrassment in the process.

I’m gonna explain myself here: - The topic was a rather intimate one and was something out of the blue; but the discussion on it ended up amongst several faces which I was not very comfortable with. I guess it would probably have been a totally different story had the conversation been only in the presence of a more select bunch of people. Unfortunately, seeing no other possible way of attracting your attention to hold off on the topic for a little while longer, I had no choice but to intervene and hastily cut it off. I know the approach was wrong but the situation became a tad desperate.

Hence my apology again as it was not my intention to cause humiliation to anyone in the process of trying to maintain my privacy over a certain matter.

I am not sure if the explanation helps in showing my view of the incident. And I’m not sure if it makes sense but I sure hope it does though.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Casual Friday...

Today is Friday, the 18th of July… Casual Friday at the office... :-)

Last Saturday was an absolute blast. 7 of us, including Miss Nathan, met up for dinner; we had made dinner reservations at Al Dente Trattoria, an “italiano ristorante” at the Esplanade. :-)

It is the only restaurant there with a roof-top terrace, according to Nicole. Our timing was perfect, with the National Day Parade rehearsals going on nearby. From 7.30pm onwards we were treated to the occasional fireworks displays.

But it was only at 8.00pm when it became a true fiesta… Big, beautiful fireworks displays beamed upwards into the sky and burst into sparkling candour. Gold, blue and white, red, with a hint of green here and there amongst glowing champagne sparkles… It was beautiful. Loud yes; but beautiful.

We had a ball of a time catching up with everyone and updates about others who couldn’t attend. It is so interesting to know of the different paths all of us are pursuing… And as Miss Nathan reminds us all, we must never forego our passions in life to achieve something superficial.

Always follow your dreams and remain true to yourself.

I’ve been out with the flu and lately, a recurring fever for much of the past week… Did see the family doctor and ended up on M.C. for Tuesday. It didn’t work miracles eventually. I’ve been getting a fever every night since Wednesday and it always carries forward into the next morning. I constantly choked and “almost died” by coughing too… Hahahaha! Not much consolation to be had there…

An assistant manager in my office ended up having his car window smashed open and his work laptop stolen on Wednesday night. Talk about tough luck… Since it was the work laptop of a civil servant, the ISD would probably be very interested in tracking the whereabouts of the laptop too… What an inconvenience to have your “workplace” computer taken! Imagine the amount of work and all that could have been lost if it had been saved on the desktop! Sigh, that’s why I can safely say that it was all just downright dumb luck…

Today, we met with Xiu Ting for lunch. She’s back from her trip to Hong Kong and is waiting to enter NUS in Aug/Sept. Lots of good, great luck to her!!! :-) We went to “Anatolia”, a Turkish restaurant at Far East Plaza. As I was too sick to have anything else, I had an omelet as a main course and rice pudding for desert, with a teeny-tiny glass of Turkish tea. It was very filling for the tummy… Minnie and Xiu Ting had the Doner Pancake (which was more like a wrap) while Aishah had the sandwich (which looked more like a burger), I believe. I’ll admit that while I had asked for the chillies and spices to be removed I ended up adding in paprika and pepper to liven up the dish a bit… But I can’t help it!! I’ve been having bland bread and buns for a few days and am dying of lack of flavour in my life… Boo Hoo Hoo!!...

And I’m meeting my buddy Charlene tomorrow for a movie, according to our existing plans… And Kim’s coming too… Kinda makes me a tad nervous about it all since it’s been extremely long since we both met; in fact, since our JC days… I am greatly hoping that everything will go ok.

And I just got news that the same assistant manager’s car just got hit by a lorry (I think) last night. Talk about bad luck!!! Wow, his luck just isn’t shining at all right now I guess.

Anyway, life does deal you all sorts of things, but one must be brave enough to face them all, no matter what kind of nonsense it conjures up…

Oh well, I just hope I’ll feel better by the end of today so tomorrow wouldn’t be a bad outing with Charlene and Kim.


Until the next post,

~`~`~Toodle-do!!...~`~`~

Tuesday, 8th July 2008...

I seriously do wonder sometimes why a person is like that. Most people I speak to conclude that there must have been a forceful event to bring out such a behaviour / characteristic. I guess they might just be right about things.

(Today, I am going to write in plain English… )

Anyway, I had a lot of fun last weekend. Well, apart from the fact that my mom dragged me to Little India to get some things… The crowd there on a Saturday is appalling, let alone a Sunday at that.

On Sunday however, I met Charlene for lunch and a movie… It was great. Except for the movie though. “Don’t mess with the Zohan” was a rather lame and sexually shocking movie.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining that it’s too sexual in content; it had a M16 rating. Rather, it should have been a much higher rating. I know that ratings of movies are dependent upon the types of body parts shown in a movie. This movie however, should not be faulted plainly for its obscenity; rather, it is the type of sexual content that should be frowned upon. Imagine a 16-year-old watching a character in the movie that knows and has also walked in on his mom getting b***ed by a guy who he thought was homeless and did nothing about it.

Shocked??

Exactly!!

Precisely my point!!...

The above is just one example of the sexually sick scenarios in the movie. Okay, I wouldn’t say the movie was all that bad but it was not entirely entertaining either. Unless you count perverse humour as fun.

Frankly, Charlene and I were not prepared for the kind of humour Adam Sandler decided to use for this movie. I was a bit disappointed. Even more so, given that I paid 10 bucks for that kind of visual crap… Oh well, you don’t always get what you ask for do you?

I wanna watch Batman (The Dark Knight) next… I have heard rave reviews of Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker and I have decided to watch it, no matter what. I’ve been told by an old friend once that not everyone could easily bring themselves to get a lone ticket to watch a movie. I’ve decided that I’ll just take the plunge for this one. It’s ok if I look like the loner. If the movie turns out great, I’ll just have to lament the fact that not many peeps around me have the kind of appreciation that I do then…:-P

Oh well, it’s back to work for me… And my hair stinks big time from the fifth-floor “smells” of cooked food and choking/smoking oil… Damn it, I just washed my hair today!

Oh well, that's all for updates for now...

Another Week...

Monday, 23rd June 2008.

Today is the start to another week of work again. I need a holiday soon. I have been playing around with the idea of a trip either at the end of this year or mid-next year, depending on my schedule. Also, I’m truly wondering of who to ask… It’s gotta be someone I’ve known long enough and is also an adventurous enough devil. I wouldn’t want to venture on too dangerous a journey for my virgin trip and neither would my parents ever let me out of the house if I intended to either. Maybe take up a packaged tour to someplace nice? But many of my friends have “been there and done all that”…… Still considering.

Hmmm...

Anyway, both Minnie and Aishah were supposed to go to Amore for a good workout during lunch together but Aishah fell sick unfortunately; a bad migraine. [Get well soon babe!! :-)] So, the workout plan got postponed and XT, Minnie and I went out for lunch today. I had actually intended to have a light one as I’m meeting my friend Charlene today for dinner but things have turned upside down to quite an extent.

We made the dietary mistake of going to Spageddies for lunch. So there we were, three hungry kittens, surrounded by good food at enormous proportions and without the wisdom to share either. We each took a main course and had desserts too. I had the exact same meal as on a previous visit: - Chicken Diavolo (wood fire-grilled chicken breasts with spaghetti and lovely chunky Neapolitan sauce) and Tiramisu.

Lovely, absolutely lovely…

Except that since the portions were so huge; my plate came with two humongous / “cowabunga!” sized grilled chicken breasts and a “side” of spaghetti. Talk about a feast of meats. Although I managed to finish most of my food, I would have to transfer food from my belly straight to my kidneys if I were to attempt to wipe everything off my plate. Seriously. Even as I sit here at my office desk typing away, I can feel my tummy working overtime to destroy each piece of protein I had chomped on without any guilt. I know I am going to pay for this later, I just know it.

:-P

So, dinner with Charlene might just end up with me getting a drink and pretty much nothing else I guess. (She is going to be so disappointed though...) I think I’ve pretty much hit the target for my protein count for the rest of the week in one meal. I just do not know how the Italians do it. Actually I do but I was just being a bum. Hahahaha...!

By the way, a piece of important advice for everyone out there with sensitive skin: - DO NOT attempt a new face-wash without caution. You might just end up peeling away like a baby snake; like I did.

I tried the Himalaya Neem Facial Wash. That’s right. NEEM facial wash, supposedly good for the skin. Used it only 3 times since Friday last. And my skin started peeling, peeling all over like crazy!! It itched like hell and has only just subsided quite a bit. I haven’t been able to put on any powder since then simply because the peeling skin looks so awful. Today, I piled on the moisturizer before getting my butt out of the house for work. Even then, it has started to show by afternoon and it’s starting to itch too. Damn it. I knew my skin was sensitive but not this sensitive! Sigh, I will have to wait this one out I guess.

Oh well, I have also now come to a conclusion that I shan’t waste my blog page space on a brat going by the moniker BP. BP is a lass who is an ass… Hey! That rhymes!! Wahahaha!!... A self-absorbed insecure brat who surprisingly thinks she’s being smarter than others. Sigh, like I said, I shall reserve much of my blog space to dedicate to other things in the world other than parasites. Unless the THING begins to get on my nerves, then she’s going have it all coming straight to her I tell you. Oh well, she’s very lucky I have better things to do.

Period.

My comments on this:
While some people sell themselves to others to make money, you (BP) sell your self-image to shame for a quick fix of confidence. I’ve given up on trying to change the world by caring over some pathetic people. I’m about as close to giving a “flying flip” over what’s cooking at the next conversation, unlike some weasels. You know what I do with weasels? I stomp on their tails ‘til they yelp for help and scramble for shelter. For a few people who know me well, I do not consider begging for mercy as reason for pardon at all when I become super-pissed. I become very, very mean. This has happened on only one occasion in my life and it was enough to scare the be-jeezes out of my friend. All her eyes said were, I never knew you had it in you. Oh well, that was quite some time ago and I wish to forget that I had even been pushed into such a situation.

Ok, ok, I shall stop typing away now. I bet Minnie might be thinking as she reads this: “this girl doesn’t blog for ages and then puts in a very long one when she finally does. Sheesh!!” Wahahaha!!...

~~~End~~~

Lunchtime today..

June, the 10th...

Today is a very quiet day at the office. So many amongst our staff are either on leave (June holiday trips) or on MC…

Aishah (aka Banu the Brave), Xiuting and I went out for lunch today… We went to Cineleisure and had BK. It was good and it was sinful. I loved it. Ever since the BK at Far East closed, we’ve had lesser and lesser opportunities to have it for lunch. These days, when the entire office is too busy, we just end up ordering Macs’ Delivery instead. Although I am not a fan of Macs, I do occasionally eat their food, especially if I have no choice.

Today, I had the BK tendergrill burger; juicy grilled chicken on a corn-dusted bun with lettuce and tomato. (I unfortunately cannot place any of the veggie ingredients in the plural since a fast food company’s policy is more often than not, to avoid too much of any vegetative produce.) I am being sarcastic here.

Anyway, we then went to Heeren for a little window shopping. Actually, Aishah and I intended to look for accessories that fell under the “bling” category, in keeping with the theme (for Thana's 21st birthday). I ended up finding a pretty flower ring in various colors and it seemed so sweet I couldn’t resist purchasing it. Truth be told, I am not an “accessory person” at all. I have been using only a few pieces since my school days: - damn, I sound so old which I am NOT by the way. Hehehehe... Anyway, I truly hope I would be able to attend her party 'cus my Dad's also trying to get me to go for another dinner engagement on that same evening.

Darn it... Hopefully I'll be able to escape this one...

Anyway, I was quite hesitant about buying it, lest I don’t wear or it breaks (I realized that the ‘petals’ could move!) so I decided to walk around other shops first. But, as we came back around, I couldn’t bring myself to head back to the office without purchasing the ring… So, I purchased it and it is now sitting in my bag…

When we got back, Melvin was asking if we had purchased anything, so I showed him the ring and he did comment that it was pretty. So, I guess I made a good purchase. I might just get a picture of it up here if I manage to get a shot of it soon. (**giggle, giggle!)

I can’t wait to show Minnie the ring when she gets back. That’s right. The pandikutty is now in Australia, "frolicking" away in the Brisbane winter with her parents while I’m freezing back here in the office. We’re continents apart but I’m trying not to miss her so much ‘cus she’ll be back next Monday… Can’t wait..! :-)

It’s great to get away on a trip with your family often so everyone can relax and unwind together without having life’s annoying intrusions such as our day jobs coming in to disrupt the peace. I can’t wait to plan another proper, faraway trip with my family too… We haven’t gone anywhere faraway in the past one year except for our trip to India last year. One consideration would be my dad’s constant traveling. He’s always flying elsewhere for work reasons; practically a monthly affair now. So, it gets kinda difficult to plan for holidays without knowing he’d be free for sure…

Anyways, it has been decided that one of my own major trips in a couple of years WILL be to Brazil, for the Mardi Gras. I've kept it at a couple of years so I will have time to slim down to a bikini size… (DON'T laugh, I’m being realistic here ok!) And I do want to start traveling on my own soon anyhow. But I haven’t thought of a nice, suitable place yet… Will come up with a place soon and start planning… My friends have already started traveling across continents so I’d have to start soon enough to catch up on the world. Oh well, that’s pretty much it for my blog post today…

Oh yeah, and I think I haven’t mentioned this yet, but I got my eyes “Lasiked”, (if there is such a term in existence at all) recently; in mid-May. Healing already. Can’t wait for it to completely heal… Then I can return to my normal life. Normal, I mean especially for things surrounding my eyes, like washing my face for example. I’ve had to “modify” my style of doing so ever since. The use of a washcloth is quite good but somehow it just never feels good or clean enough. And I’ve had to forget about scrubs too. Sigh...

Oh well, it’s only a matter of time. So, I’ll wait.

~~Cheers!!~~