Another day; Tuesday. Another week of work. We’re gonna be playing badminton today during lunch… Excited ‘cus I haven’t played badminton in so many years. I’m a tennis girl unfortunately. So, to play my childhood game is gonna be so fun, I hope… :-)
Valentine’s Day came and went. Still a swinging single. Well, maybe not swinging as much considering my busy schedule these days. But still single. So what does that say for me? Nothing actually. You pass the day with a little tinge of sadness and lack of direction in your love life and then when night passes and morning comes, you move on.
I do often get people who shoot me the look that asks: Why have I not met anyone yet? Someone whom I might actually consider spending my exclusive time with? Purely because I simply don’t have that big a circle with Indians in it at all to meet such a person in the first place. I grew up with a multi-racial childhood and pre-dominantly Chinese teenage years. When you don’t have “access” or exposure to a large number of people of your own kind, it gets tough to re-associate yourself back with them when you become an adult ya know. I experienced a similar “transition period” a few years ago and one thing’s for sure: It can be tough; really tough.
I had trouble identifying myself with any common matters and could barely keep a conversation with people. What was there to talk about? I didn’t watch their movies, listen to their music or go to the same schools as them. I was different; and they knew it too. I was never close to my relatives either. Firstly, our values do not match on any level (‘til today) at all; neither do our thought planes nor our geographic locations. But I never once paused to wonder if my difference was a bane or boon. It differed with contexts.
I know it sounds sad (and many felt; arrogant) that I’m so detached but there it is. It is cemented and there’s nothing to be done. I found my way back eventually; by learning about people’s lives and their habits and cultures. It’s not easy when culture is something people relate to emotionally. When you don’t feel that association, it can be difficult to understand customs and traditions. I’m much more religious now than I was before. I have learnt a couple of life lessons along the way too… Its part of growing up I guess.
I’m tired; of being nice all the time. The guilt imposed upon me by society of not blending in with my own kind is long drawn out and it’s about time it ends. I’m losing my patience more often and I do realize. I’ve started to live for my likes and preferences; so forgive me in advance if I differ from your views and opinions. Another lesson that’s given me a gentle reminder is that every time I pity someone, they try to be smart by accomplishing things behind my back. I’m an extremely forgiving person because I believe in the best of people. They should be very glad that I don’t follow this mantra: - “Follow my advice and become great in your life. But try your funny tricks on me and I’ll destroy you before getting back to my own work.” --> A person I do not wish to name once told me this. Frankly, that’s the funniest line I ever heard anyone say about themselves. I wouldn’t actually waste my time with such people; unless they step on my toes directly. Try it and then you’ll see… :-)
And I have now also realized and acknowledge that I’ve revealed more emotions here than I had intended to… Oops…
(I do not intend for any offence at the contents of my post. They are the opinions of one person alone. Me. No offense intended to any particular racial division either. )
- By the way, this is one my most fave pictures of our wonderful Earth. Can you guess what it is? It's a rare uninterrupted shot of our South Pole, with it's wind systems and movement patterns showing. A very rare, beautiful shot indeed.~~Cheers~~
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