Have you ever known?

I seek something. Seek a utopia where a heart is loved beyond what meets the eye. Where love and affection is truly blind and knows no boundaries. Some seek it in their children; others, in the arms of another. So where do I find my utopia?

My inner world is upset, unbalanced. When I seek comfort to come home, I am met with an underlying hatred that runs deep amidst past scars of an untold history. What have I done wrong?

Why the fear to be accepting? Imperfection is beautiful too.

“Entha pennillum illatha ondru, etho, athu etho; adi etho unnidam irukirathu”… The sheer lines speak of acceptance of imperfection; yet they only represent a dream / an reflection we all yearn for.

Behold the wishfulness of a person; it can be very strong for a faith but it can be broken by a loved one very easily.

I think I am in love. With what or whom, I do not know. But I wish for a love to take me far far away. A place with silence. With safety, a harness to someone whom I can place my life and trust in.

“Penn illatha ooriley, adi aan poo ketpathillai. Penn illatha ooriley kodithan poo poopathillai.”

“Nee anaikindra velayil, uyir poo vidukindru malarum” I seek not…

I seek warmth. A chest of armour for me to rely on for strength for now I feel I may be losing my grip; my strength. The presence of a man can be nought; but the presence of fearlessness and a reassurance is what I seek. I seek Man not for him, but for his bravery and freedom.

How do I trust you? With my life? My freedom? My thoughts? Would it be safe? Dear complete stranger; how do I love thee with my heart? With reckless abandon? Answer me!

Are you even there anymore? You seem to blend in with the shadows around now.

I am losing my grip.


-------------End.....------------------