Wow, I have gained weight; AGAIN.
"What? After all I’ve been through to lose 7 kg early last year, I’ve put it back on with an ADDITIONAL 0.5kg?!?! Whatever happened to my increased confidence that grew with the weight loss?"
This is bad, not only did I experience the 'yo-yo' cycle of weight loss and gain I also put on extra. As if the fat’s back with a vengeance.
In actual truth, it was me who was back with a vengeance. My eating habits spun out of control. I defected from my efforts and betrayed my personal cause.
I feel bad.
At a time when things are going to the next stages in life, it’s very much a late sign that I haven’t gotten my act together as much as I had thought. Self-discipline’s sorely lacking for starters..
I have to get my act together. It’s too late to say that I am “running out of time” because I’m very much overdue in my goals. Same goes for my other plans, including my money and life goals.. I’m taking my own sweet time, for too long.
I suspect this might have been the pattern: The lost weight was very gradually creeping back in but I didn’t pay it any attention; I was busy resting on my laurels of the previous victory. The last 3 months have been the worst; I completely gave up my exercise program, slipped off my eating disciplines and generally lazed at home. And look where it got me; not back to square 1 rather square 0.
I think the main thing I had forgotten to keep up with is the “never again” mantra. I relaxed and the mantra melted into the background of my thoughts. I think I am fundamentally a lazy person (my mom was SOOOoo right about this!!). When my work hit a smaller peak-period in the last quarter of the year, I relaxed. My relaxation translated into laziness and I slid off the discipline wagon as well.
That is just sad. I knew I had put on weight but refused to weigh myself in the past 2 months; for fear of the truth I guess. The bitter truth that I have to take full responsibility for all my actions and the consequences of this laziness that I had allowed to takeover these past few months.
It is saddening that I would even have taken it this far. I should have known better.
It is not the end of the world; I can start again. A matter of placing effort into rescheduling my life around being fit and light-weight. It is not as simple, but not impossible either.
That is my new theme for this year:- Fit and Light-weight.
Light would not mean that I have to drop kilos to cut my BMI in half; rather, the motive is to ensure I feel light on my feet. That’s most important; I desperately need to cut off this lethargy I feel creeping on me every day. It feels frustrating to have that feeling of something dragging you down in speed, physically and mentally.
Here goes then, let’s do it.
